Buhtt sex?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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