oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
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Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
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Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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