he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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