why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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