i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize