I smell stomach acid.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
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