For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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