He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You are the jesus of drinking
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Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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