Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
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I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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