so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
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Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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