so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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