i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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