i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
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so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
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Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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