The maid of honor just puked.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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