he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Mom said you looked used
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize