3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize