Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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