i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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