I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Help. Why am I so naked?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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