even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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