Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
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Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
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I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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