Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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