Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize