just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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