Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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