a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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