its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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