Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
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is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
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put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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