i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
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May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize