i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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