Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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