Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
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I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
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Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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