I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize