he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize