evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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