Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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