Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
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