If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Terrible idea I love it
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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