A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize