i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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