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The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
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