Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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