dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
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I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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