I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He did a backflip because drugs
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