i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
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I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
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But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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