He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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