we have officially lost it.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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