dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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