Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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