saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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